This is my entry for today's prompt at Magaly Guerrero's Dark Poetry for the Cruellest Month blog event. Magaly's birthday is tomorrow and she has asked for Birthday Dirges to be composed in her honour. She cited as a model/example the ever-popular Viking Birthday Dirge.
Now, I find the Viking Birthday Dirge to be as hilarious as the next person. Goddess knows I've forwarded it to everyone who I even suspect of having Norse ancestry. They love it too! But it's an entirely different thing for someone of my sunny disposition to deliberately write dark and dire things concerning something I've always been trained to regard as the happiest of occasions -- a birthday! Writing this dirge was totally counter-intuitive.
But I've done it for you, Magaly, only for you! Have a wonderful birthday tomorrow and a most joyous celebration. Okay now, everyone put on your best frowny face while reading my dirge --
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
Getting older is such fun,
You'll get wrinkles on your bum,
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
Oh but that is not the worst,
Your whole country's gonna burst,
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
You live in the U.S.A.,
Prez'dent Trump is on his way,
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
If that's not okay with you,
How 'bout Clinton Number Two?
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
If the States go all to hell,
Come to Canada to dwell!
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
If the States go all to hell,
Come to Canada to dwell!
On your birthday.
Happy birthday.
[© Debra She Who Seeks, 2016]
See? I just couldn't help myself -- it has a happy ending!
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